Introducing Baby Hazel’s first tooth (which has been there since August).
It’s official, I’ve ran out of blogging mojo and things to blog about. It’s only been a week since school holidays started but every day at home feels like a week.
Unlike previous holidays, I can’t get up any time I want now. I’m supposed to wake up early to look after Hazel because 1) she’s not going to the babysitter anymore 2) my maid has got chores to do and 3) Hazel’s other aunt is conveniently infected with conjunctivitis (which also means she can hide in her room all day hugging her laptop).
Don’t get me wrong, I love Hazel to bits. It’s just that I treasure my sleep too! It’s true, I love sleeping. =) It’s one of the simplest yet most interesting thing to do when you have got nothing to do. Simple because you don’t really do anything, interesting because- well, you should really get me to tell you some of the dreams I’ve had.
But since I have nothing to do right now and it’s way too early to sleep, I shall amuse myself by blogging about what I have done during the holidays.
1. Inglourious Basterds
A very good movie. Funny, fast-paced, dramatic with a bit a lot of gore. Definitely worth your 11 ringgit and 2 1/2 hours. Watched this with Hui Yi and Chong Sheng.
2. New York New York Deli
Went makan-makan at New York New York Deli and jalan-jalan with my sister, Edmund and Hazel. Loved the deco there and their Waffles with Peach but that’s about all I can for that place. Definitely not somewhere I would go if I were paying myself.
3. Dad’s Friend’s Birthday Party
Only one word: BORING. You can’t really expect me to enjoy myself at my dad’s friend’s 63rd birthday party, can you? Thank goodness for cousins, if not I might not have made it out of there alive.
4. No Rock Climbing!
It was originally rock climbing we wanted to go for but due to many unforeseen circumstances, we opted for bowling instead. I was impossibly hopeless at it. You have to see it to believe it, so take a look at the picture below:
P is me in case you haven’t figured that out.
5. Sleepover at Rachel’s Place
Nothing much to elaborate here. =) Had customary BFF talk, actually we didn’t do much else besides talk while I was there. And and I love Rach’s new table lamp. So pretty. =)
6. Star Wars Marathon Part III
Last part of our Star Wars marathon at Nick’s place and with that it’s 6 movies done! I won’t say I’m a huge fan but I definitely enjoyed watching Star Wars with Carmen, Rachel, Aaron, Nicholas and Matthew. I wouldn’t have watched it any other way. =)
7. I Love You, Man
I LIKE. =)
8. The Proposal
I love Ryan Reynolds! =) Am downloading Definitely, Maybe just to watch him now.
9. More Psych Episodes
10. More Boys Over Flowers
And this is how I spent my last 7 days.
Actually, I made it sound as though I hardly spend any time at home! But even with all the activities, I still manage to have nothing to do. Today I even caught myself walking up and down the stairs, carrying the Dead Fathers’ Club (which I kind of regret buying now) looking for something to do. AND NOT SUCCEEDING.
I need a life.
It’s funny how some friends remain friends, while some friends just…don’t.
I find it rather saddening actually. Because the friends who don’t last are usually friends who were really close but still somehow drifted apart. You really feel a true sense of loss. It’s like even though you miss them, you just know that no matter what you do or how much time you spend together again, nothing will be the same anymore.
But that loss is still balanced by the friends who remain friends. And thank God for these friends! They are the people who were always there and also the people who weren’t always there but you just know you can count on them. I guess some people are just different from others.
And it’s funny how you always know.
This is for all those people who are still not convinced that Hazel is the cutest baby ever.
Life is simple. Life is joyful. Life is kind to me today. =)
I wonder how many wrongs I have to make before I get it right. I wonder how many people I have let down or pissed off. I wonder if I can do this. It’s no wonder I need a break.
Where is my confidence when I need it? How did I end up alienating all the people who matter to me? Could it be that my parents weren’t so wrong after all? Maybe I really can’t juggle this and that. Maybe it’s time to sit down and prioritise.
What I want in life is really that simple, having my family and friends close by, to love and be loved, to be content with what I have. But at the same time, what I want out of life is so much more. I want to strive to be better, to be more, to impress, to awe. I want to go places. I want to inspire.
I believe I am not the only person who is contradictory in that way. We can never really make up our minds about what we want. And I don’t expect I can in the next few years to come.
I shouldn’t need to talk to someone, I shouldn’t need to take a break, I shouldn’t need someone to solve my problems and I definitely shouldn’t need someone to answer my questions. But I do.
I guess I can only keep making mistakes until I finally get things right. Because like everyone else, I’m still learning.
I’m only human after all.
I don’t know if it’s because I got up at 7am to go jogging today, or if it’s the old Chinese songs my dad is playing, or if it’s the currypuff I had for lunch, but I feel different. In a good way too.
Have you ever felt like you were looking through someone else’ eyes even when you were going about doing everything you always did? I do right now. It’s as though I was never me before and I’m discovering everything all over again.
I am rediscovering the joy Hazel brings to our family. I am rediscovering fresh air on a Saturday morning. I am rediscovering music. I am rediscovering the warm fuzzy feeling when you do a good deed. I am rediscovering the house I have been living in for the past 2 years. I am rediscovering the extra mile I would go for some things.
I have been so caught up with studying for exam that I’ve tuned out everything else. I put life on hold. I guess somewhere along the way, I lost myself in all the words and chemical equations that I have been cramming into my head. Sure, exam has been over for a week now. I went for a movie and shopping immediately after, slept a whole day away and went for a Stars Wars marathon. After that was the Return of Exam Papers. It was a full week of ups and downs that just about knocked me breathless.
I’ve only just begun breathing again. And it feels great.
I just want to let you know, when things don’t go your way, it’s okay to be angry or sad. It’s okay to go off track once in a while. I don’t want you to push yourself too hard or to force everything down. I tried putting myself in your shoes and it didn’t feel good at all.
I don’t know how to broach the topic when I’m with you. But it is what we talk about. I kind of feel as though I’m constantly treading on eggshells. So I’m telling you now, if you need timeout, I’ll understand. But don’t take too long, because I have just realised how much I need you.
How much I need all of you.
So what began as a small discussion on Facebook became a full-blown Star Wars marathon at Nick’s place, complete with pink lemonade, pizzah(!), homemade muffins, green pea soup, gummies, chips, marshmallows with smiley faces and lots of vanilla coke! In other words, Star Wars is fattening.
No lah, contrary to what I have been (loudly) proclaiming before this, Star Wars is actually quite interesting! Especially when you watch it with the right people i.e. Rachel, Carmen, Nick, Matthew and Aaron. =) I only yawned because I slept for 5 hours the night before (which is not enough!) aaand because the sofa was very comfortable! So yeah, must forgive me.
Of course, we must not forget to thank Nick for letting us use his place. I’m sure all of you know that 6 teenagers can cause quite a lot of havoc but we were on our best behaviour! So only the coffee table ended up looking like someone partied on it. Come to think of it, we didn’t help him clean up on both days. T.T I’m sorry Nick! And oh, you’ve got a supah! nice place. =) And you’re a supah! good host as well. =)
‘Twas two well-spent days methinks.
On a completely unrelated note, thank you and I love you banyak-banyak. You know who you are too. =)
I have been away for far too long! You see, I came home on Monday night to find all the wires connecting the router to the modem and CPU in a mess. Probably the handiwork of my sister, who conveniently went back to her campus already. So I set about to connect the wires back, except, I couldn’t remember how.
I didn’t have much choice though, so I just tried connecting the wires every way I could. Finally, after two days and much sneezing under the table, it worked! My sister figured that my mom forgot to pay the bills and mom reckoned that the modem overheated and broke. But I-
I worked wonders. =)
Still, I mapped a diagram of which cable to what port and stuck it to the side of the CPU. Just in case my sister goes into another fit and pulls everything out again.
And now, to update.
Actually, I think I’ll shower first.
