I got the Christmas spirit at last! Though it is somewhat dampen by a certain someone mentioned in the previous entry. But I guess that’s part of the Christmas spirit too, tolerating and forgiving. Hm, or was that taking and giving? Anyway, I am actually looking forward to Christmas this year, not celebrating it, just Christmas.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always went to this Christmas eve party in a clubhouse where everyone knows everyone else. For the adults, that is. And us, children are expected to ‘play’ with Mr. Who-and-who’s children, whom I could barely care for, while the parents drink and have fun. For years I have attended this party, for the sake of my longtime friend and soon-to-be neighbour. Because her birthday is on Christmas Day and thus always announced when the clock strikes twelve at which everyone sings the Birthday song and she cuts the cake.

But this year, I have convinced myself that since I will be seeing a lot of her for the next ten years or so, it would be fine to miss this party. It’s not even a real birthday party anyway. Now, with this party out of the way, I can spend the night with the people I actually care about. But now, I face a bigger crisis, who? Who would be these people that I care about?

My dad is obliged to attend the party, my sisters would probably go clubbing, my mom would decide to spend time with her sister and family whom I try to avoid the best I could and all of my friends need to spend time with their family. Am I truly stuck with just the computer and the TV? Am I truly that pathetic that I don’t have anyone to spend time with? I know the whole family will be together on Christmas day itself but it’s the day before it that’s the best moment. Guess we never really had the family spirit, or maybe we do, except I’m not part of it.

God, this is depressing. Writing is supposed to make me feel better, not worse. Oh well, I guess being alone is better than attending the party, at least I can sleep whenever I feel like it. (Actually, it isn’t but I’m trying to comfort myself, so don’t mess with me.)

This year just sucks. I went Christmas shopping with Trecia today and frankly, it was no fun at all. I hereby declare that Trecia is the worst shopping partner ever. After buying everyone’s present from Diva, we went on to look for a present for me and all I ended up with was a pair of sandals worth 20 ringgit. Like what????? I spent 200 on others and only 20 on myself? After walking around for an hour, we went to watch a movie and come out at 4. And we walked around for another hour and I was ready to go home. Can you believe that? I only officially shopped for 2 hours and I. Was. Ready. To. Go. Home. Like. WTF?

And to think I was looking forward to Christmas. I feel like dying right now. But I need to die pretty and my hair is getting rather oily. I really should go get a bath first.